- 09 Oct, 2025
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- 6 Mins Read
Why do children bully others online?
In the digital age, sadly bullying has evolved into cyberbullying. Unlike traditional bullying, which often takes place in schoolyards or playgrounds, cyberbullying happens in the virtual world. It involves using digital technologies like social media, messaging apps, gaming platforms, and blogs to harass, intimidate, or embarrass others repeatedly. As alarming as cyberbullying is, understanding why children engage in this harmful behaviour online is crucial to addressing and preventing it effectively.
What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is defined as an aggressive, intentional act carried out by an individual or group using electronic forms of contact, repeatedly and over time, against a victim who finds it difficult to defend themselves1. Examples include sending hurtful messages, spreading rumours, creating fake profiles, or sharing embarrassing images or videos.
The unique features of the online environment make cyberbullying particularly insidious. Unlike face-to-face bullying, it can happen 24/7, reach a wider audience quickly, and often allows the bully to remain anonymous2. This anonymity sometimes emboldens children to act in ways they might not in person.
Why do children bully others online?
There are several linked factors contributing to why children bully others online including individual traits, social dynamics, technological features, and broader environmental influences.
1. Imbalance of power and social status
Bullying, whether in person or online, often happens when one child tries to have power over another. Many children who bully do it to feel more important or gain attention from their friends3. Online, this power can grow even stronger because children can reach many people quickly and often hide behind anonymity. According to Sophie Sparks, Founder of You Can Sit With Me, a charity that provides an inclusive, evidence-based, peer-led program to help reduce school refusal, social isolation, bullying, and non-inclusive behaviour.
“Sometimes bullying is a cry for connection,” Sophie explains. “If we can teach children healthier ways to express hurt or frustration, we can prevent that pain from turning into harm.”
2. Lack of empathy
Research shows that children involved in cyberbullying often show lower levels of empathy compared to their peers4. Empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others—is a critical component of prosocial behaviour.
Because online communication lacks face-to-face contact, it’s harder to see how others feel. This can make it easier for bullies to ignore the harm they cause5.
“Behind every screen is a real person with real feelings,” says Sparks. “Helping children reconnect empathy to their digital actions is one of the most powerful ways to stop cyberbullying before it starts.”
3. Anonymity and reduced accountability
The online environment allows children to hide behind usernames or fake profiles. This anonymity lowers their inhibitions and diminishes the fear of being caught or punished6. When bullies feel shielded from consequences, they are more likely to engage in aggressive behaviour.
“Being digitally literate isn’t just about knowing how to use technology—it’s about knowing how to use it with heart,” says Sophie. “That’s a lesson we need to start teaching early.”
4. Peer influence and social reinforcement
Children’s behaviour is heavily influenced by their peer groups. Some children bully online to fit in, gain approval, or avoid becoming targets themselves7. When cyberbullying content is shared or “liked” by peers, it provides social reinforcement, encouraging the bully to continue8.
“When one child chooses kindness online, others notice,” says Sophie. “Positive peer influence is contagious—it’s how culture shifts, one comment, one message at a time.”
5. Modelling and family environment
Children often copy the behaviour they see at home or in their community. When they are exposed to aggression in family life or in the media, they are more likely to bully others9.
Parents play an important role in reducing or increasing this risk. When parents don’t guide or monitor their children’s online activity, those children are more likely to take part in cyberbullying10.
“Children mirror what they see,” says Sophie. “When we show calm, empathy, and respect at home, they learn those same values online.”
6. Emotional and psychological factors
Some children use bullying as a way to cope with their own emotional distress or insecurities11 [Walsh, 2024, p. 200]]. Cyberbullying may serve as an outlet for anger, frustration, or feelings of powerlessness12.
“When children lash out online, it’s often about what’s happening inside,” says Sophie. “They need safe spaces to talk, not screens to hide behind.”
7. Technology and accessibility
As smartphones, social media, and messaging apps are everywhere, children spend more time online, which increases the chances of cyberbullying 13. The digital environment also provides new tools—such as blogs, chat rooms, and social networks—that can be misused to bully others14.
8. Misunderstanding the impact
Children may not fully understand the impact of their online actions. The lack of immediate, visible emotional reactions from victims can lead bullies to underestimate the harm they cause15.
“We have to help children make the connection between their clicks and someone else’s feelings,” says Sophie. “That awareness is what turns online spaces into safe spaces.”
The role of bystanders and online culture
A significant factor in cyberbullying dynamics is the role of bystanders—peers who witness bullying but may not intervene16. Online, bystanders can make bullying worse by sharing harmful content, or they can help stop it by reporting it and supporting the victims.
Unfortunately, many children feel unsure how to respond or fear becoming targets themselves17.
“Every child who witnesses bullying has a choice: stay silent or step up,” says Sparks. “When bystanders become upstanders, the cycle of harm breaks—and kindness wins.”
The culture of social media often values popularity and online attention, which can unintentionally encourage bullying by rewarding attention-seeking or provocative behaviour18.
“It takes all of us—parents, teachers, communities—to make the online world safer,” Sophie adds. “When children see adults model empathy, they follow our lead.”
What can be done?
Understanding why children bully online highlights the need for a comprehensive approach to prevention and intervention:
Education on digital literacy and empathy: Teaching children about responsible online behaviour, digital citizenship, and the emotional consequences of bullying can build empathy and reduce harmful actions19 [[Walsh, 2024, p. 21]].
Parental involvement: Parents need to be proactive in monitoring online activities, setting clear rules, and fostering open communication20.
School policies and support: Schools should establish clear anti-cyberbullying policies, provide support to victims, and educate students about the importance of bystander intervention21.
Empowering bystanders: Encouraging peers to stand up against bullying and report incidents can change the social dynamics that allow bullying to continue22.
Legal and community measures: Laws and community programs can help enforce consequences and support a culture that rejects bullying23.
Children bully others online for many reasons—seeking power, influenced by peers and family, hiding behind anonymity, or dealing with their own emotional struggles. The digital world amplifies these factors, creating a complex challenge that requires understanding, empathy, and coordinated action from families, schools, and communities.
“Cyberbullying can feel overwhelming, but it’s not unstoppable,” Sparks concludes. “Every small act of understanding, every conversation about kindness, helps build a safer digital world for our kids,” Sophie says.
By recognising the roots of cyberbullying, we can better equip children to use technology positively and create a safer, kinder online environment for all.
References
[2, 4, 5, 9, 11, 16] Walsh, M. (Ed.). (2024). The Psychology of Cyberbullying. Nova Science Publishers. (pp. 12, 21, 113, 165, 168, 200)
YOU CAN SIT WITH ME is an inclusive, evidence-based, peer-led program reducing school refusal, social isolation, bullying, exclusion and non-inclusive behaviour.
YOU CAN SIT WITH ME provides free programs for schools, sporting clubs and community groups.
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