- 06 Oct, 2025
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How to stand up to a bully – tips for kids and parents
Bullying is a serious problem that affects many children worldwide. It can happen at school, on the playground, during sports, or online through social media and apps. Bullying causes deep emotional pain, making kids feel isolated, scared, confused, and powerless. But remember—you don’t have to face it alone. There are ways to stand up to bullies while staying safe and strong. Here are some practical tips to help you deal with bullying confidently and effectively.
1. Speak Out When It’s Safe to Do So
If you see bullying or are being bullied, one of the best things you can do is speak up calmly. Tell the bully—without yelling or fighting—that their behavior is wrong and needs to stop. You don’t have to confront them aggressively or put yourself in danger. Simply telling them calmly and firmly that you won’t accept their actions can sometimes make a big difference and even stop the bullying1.
Sometimes it’s safer and more effective to stand up with friends rather than alone. There is strength in numbers. Bullies are less likely to continue when several people tell them their behavior is unacceptable2. Remember, standing up doesn’t mean being rude or mean back—it means showing courage and doing what’s right.
“Speaking up against bullying takes real courage, and I want kids to know that courage doesn’t always mean being loud or aggressive,” says Sophie, founder of You Can Sit With Me and a teacher. “Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is calmly say ‘That’s not okay’ or ‘Stop, you’re hurting them.’ I’ve seen situations where one student speaking up—especially when they have friends supporting them — completely changes the dynamic. Bullies often rely on silence and fear to maintain their power. When students break that silence, even in small ways, they take that power away. But safety always comes first. If speaking up feels dangerous, the priority should be getting to safety and finding a trusted adult who can help.”
2. Support the Victim
If you see someone being bullied, offer your support. Let them know they’re not alone and that the bullying is wrong. Victims often feel isolated, so simple acts of kindness — like standing with them at school, including them in activities, or posting positive comments online — can help them feel stronger and less alone3. Even small gestures of friendship can change someone’s day and give them hope.
3. Tell a Trusted Adult
Many kids feel scared about telling an adult when bullying happens. They might worry about losing privileges like phone time, or that telling will make things worse. However, telling a trusted adult—like a parent, teacher, school counselor, or family member—is an important step toward getting help and stopping the bullying. Adults have the experience and authority to take action and can help create a safety plan. You won’t be punished for someone else’s bullying or for asking for help4.
If you’re not sure who to trust, think about adults who have been kind, understanding, or fair in the past. Sometimes a school counsellor or a teacher you feel comfortable with is the best person to talk to5. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Sophie emphasises the importance of reaching out: “One of the biggest myths about bullying is that telling an adult makes you a ‘snitch’ or will make the situation worse. But in my years as a teacher, I’ve seen over and over that getting adult help is often what finally stops the bullying cycle. Adults have resources and authority that kids simply don’t have — we can address the situation, protect the victim, and work with the bully to change their behaviour. I always tell students in my classroom that coming to me for help isn’t tattling or dobbing, it’s being brave and taking care of yourself or someone else. No student should have to carry the burden of bullying alone. There are adults who care and want to help—you just have to let us know what’s happening.”
4. Save Evidence of Cyberbullying
If bullying happens online or through texts, save copies of any hurtful messages, posts, pictures, or comments. Most websites and social media platforms let you report bullying, fake profiles, or harmful content. Showing this evidence to a trusted adult or school counselor can help stop cyberbullying before it gets worse. If it continues after blocking or reporting, parents may need to contact the bully’s parents or, in serious cases, the police6.
Keeping evidence is very important because cyberbullying can happen anytime and anywhere, and adults need proof to help you effectively.
5. Practice Safe Online Behaviour
Being safe online is one of the best ways to protect yourself from cyberbullying. Be careful about what personal information you share—avoid posting your address, phone number, or other details that could be used against you. Always think before you post or send something online. Set up alerts for your name on search engines and regularly check what others might be saying about you to stay aware of your online reputation/sup>.
Remember, the internet is a public space, and once something is posted, it can be hard to remove. Being smart and cautious online helps keep you safe.
Sophie offers practical online safety advice: “I taught my students what I call the ‘digital footprint rule’ — everything you post online leaves a permanent mark that can follow you for years. Before sharing anything, pause and ask yourself: Would I want my parents, teachers, or future employers to see this? Could this information be used to hurt or embarrass me or someone else? This simple habit helps students think critically about their online presence. I also encourage them to adjust privacy settings, be selective about who they accept as friends or followers, and never share personal details like their location, phone number, or plans. The internet can be an amazing tool for connection and learning, but only when we use it responsibly and protect ourselves from those who might misuse it.”
6. Use Positive Problem-Solving Strategies
When dealing with bullying, it’s important to use non-violent and positive strategies. Research shows that children who receive clear advice from parents or teachers on how to handle bullying are better prepared to cope8. Strategies like calmly walking away from a bully, seeking help from friends or adults, and staying close to supportive peers can reduce the chances of being targeted.
Avoiding retaliation is important because fighting back with aggression often makes things worse. Instead, focus on solutions that keep you safe and calm.
7. Build Strong Relationships
Having supportive friends and caring adults around you is one of the best protections against bullying. Bullies often target kids who seem isolated or vulnerable. Being part of school clubs, sports teams, or other activities can provide support, boost your confidence, and make bullying less likely.
Strong friendships and positive connections with adults create a network of support that can help you feel safe and valued.
8. Remember, Bullies Thrive on Silence
Bullies rely on fear, silence, and secrecy to keep their power. By refusing to stay silent—whether you speak out, tell a trusted adult, or support others who are bullied—you take away their power. Encouraging bystanders to become “upstanders” who safely intervene or report bullying can significantly reduce bullying in schools.
Even if you are not the target, standing up for others sends a strong message that bullying is not acceptable and helps create a safer, kinder community.
Sophie shares an important message about bystanders “Most bullying doesn’t happen in private—it happens in front of other students. And those bystanders have enormous power to either stop the bullying or allow it to continue. When students stand up for their peers, when they refuse to laugh at mean jokes, when they sit with the lonely kid at lunch, they’re not just being nice—they’re actively creating a culture where bullying can’t survive. That’s what You Can Sit With Me is all about: empowering every student to be an upstander, to be the person who says ‘You belong here’ and means it. When we break the silence around bullying and show bullies that their behavior won’t be tolerated or ignored, we take away their power and create schools where everyone feels safe and valued.”
Looking forward to a kinder future
Standing up to bullying is not always easy, but by using these tips, kids can protect themselves and others from harm. Speak out with confidence when it is safe, support those who are bullied, tell trusted adults, save evidence if bullying happens online, and practice positive problem-solving strategies. Build strong friendships and remember that silence only helps bullies keep their power. Bullying is never okay, and help is always available. You have the courage and the tools to make a difference for yourself and for others.
“To every young person reading this, I want you to know something important: you are stronger and braver than you realise. Whether you’re facing bullying yourself, witnessing it happen to someone else, or just trying to navigate the complicated social world of school, you have the power to make positive choices. You can choose kindness over cruelty, inclusion over exclusion, and courage over silence.
“It won’t always be easy, and you won’t always get it right, but every small act of bravery matters. Every time you stand up for yourself or someone else, every time you reach out to a trusted adult, every time you offer friendship to someone who’s alone — you’re making the world a little bit kinder and safer. That’s the future we’re building together, one brave choice at a time,” she says.
References
YOU CAN SIT WITH ME is an inclusive, evidence-based, peer-led program reducing school refusal, social isolation, bullying, exclusion and non-inclusive behaviour.
YOU CAN SIT WITH ME provides free programs for schools, sporting clubs and community groups.
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