- 09 Oct, 2025
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- 9 Mins Read
Why bullying can trigger anxiety — how parents can help
The relationship between bullying and child anxiety has never been clearer. Schools, communities, and families now recognise that preventing school bullying is vital for children’s mental health and social wellbeing. For parents, understanding the warning signs, knowing how to respond, and being aware of available anti-bullying resources can make all the difference. With the right support, children can learn resilience, regain confidence, and thrive without being weighed down by worry or fear.
How bullying and anxiety are connected
Research is increasingly demonstrating a strong and consistent connection between bullying and child anxiety. When kids are bullied, they are much more likely to develop significant anxiety problems, including fear of social situations and ongoing worry about everyday activities1.
Importantly, studies that track children over time show that bullying is not just correlated with anxiety — it causes new mental health problems, even in children who were previously healthy2. This confirms that bullying plays a direct role in creating long-term psychological difficulties.
“The connection between bullying and anxiety is something I witness firsthand in my classroom every day,” says Sophie, founder of You Can Sit With Me and a teacher.
“I’ve seen confident, outgoing students become withdrawn and fearful after being bullied. They start avoiding certain hallways, skipping lunch to hide in the library, or making excuses to stay home from school. What many people don’t realise is that bullying doesn’t just hurt in the moment — it fundamentally changes how a child sees themselves and the world around them. They begin to expect harm, to anticipate rejection, and to view social situations as dangerous rather than opportunities for connection. That constant state of fear and hypervigilance is anxiety, and it can become so deeply ingrained that it affects every aspect of their life.”
What happens to bullied children
Children who are bullied often experience deep emotional distress. They may feel lonely, withdraw from friends and activities, and display much higher levels of anxiety than peers who are not bullied3.
Bullying behaviours can include verbal insults, exclusion from groups, rumours, physical intimidation, and digital harassment. Regardless of the form, the impact is clear: children who are bullied begin to see themselves as unsafe, unworthy, or powerless in their environment, fuelling heightened anxiety.
These effects don’t necessarily stop once the bullying ends. Anxiety linked to bullying can spill over into daily life, affecting sleep, concentration, self-esteem, and relationships.
Long-term effects parents should be aware of
While some might assume that the effects of bullying fade as children grow older, research indicates otherwise. Bullying has been linked to lasting mental health issues, including anxiety and depression, that extend into adult life4.
Children who are victims of bullying are at increased risk of developing chronic anxiety disorders, and these problems can persist for years5. This highlights how urgent it is to intervene early before symptoms become entrenched and affect future wellbeing.
Sophie emphasises the lasting impact: “One of the most heartbreaking things I’ve learned in my years working with bullied students is that the effects don’t just disappear when they graduate or change schools. I’ve had former students reach out to me years later, as young adults, still struggling with anxiety that traces back to their bullying experiences in childhood. They tell me about difficulties trusting people, forming relationships, speaking up in work meetings, or even just walking into social situations without feeling overwhelming dread. The anxiety that bullying creates can become a lens through which they view the entire world. That’s why early intervention is so criticals— the sooner we address bullying and provide support, the better chance we have of preventing these long-term mental health consequences.”
Online and in-person bullying
In today’s world, bullying is not limited to the school gates. Children may encounter harassment face-to-face and online. Both forms are damaging, but studies show that the combination of cyberbullying and traditional bullying creates the most severe psychological outcomes6.
Cyberbullying has unique risks: it spreads rapidly, can be witnessed by a large number of peers, and follows children wherever they go, eroding the safe space of home. For parents, this means keeping conversations about online safety and kindness open and non-judgemental is an essential step.
The power of strong support
There is good news: support networks make an enormous difference. When children feel supported by family, friends, and teachers, the damaging impact of bullying on anxiety is significantly reduced. Research suggests that fostering supportive relationships can act as a protective buffer, helping kids to feel safe and valued even during difficult times7.
This is where school-based inclusion programs such as You Can Sit With Me can have life-changing effects. By encouraging small acts of kindness and creating visible signals of peer support, such initiatives build a culture of belonging and counteract the isolation that feeds anxiety.
“I founded You Can Sit With Me because I saw firsthand how powerful it is when a child knows they’re not alone,” Sophie says. “Support doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic—sometimes it’s as simple as a classmate saying ‘sit with us at lunch’ or a teacher checking in with a quiet ‘how are you really doing?’ These small acts of connection can be lifelines for anxious children who feel isolated and vulnerable. When students know there are people who care about them, who notice when they’re struggling, and who will stand by them, it doesn’t erase the bullying, but it does provide a protective shield that helps them cope and recover. That sense of belonging and mattering to others is one of the most powerful antidotes to anxiety.”
Signs parents should look for
Bullying often goes unreported by children, making it especially important for parents to spot clues. Warning signs can include:
Sudden changes in school attendance or increased reluctance to attend.
Drop in academic performance or loss of interest in schoolwork.
Withdrawal from hobbies and activities previously enjoyed.
Reluctance to talk about school events or secrecy about online activity.
Physical complaints such as headaches, stomach aches, or disturbed sleep — often before school.
Emotional shifts, including fear, sadness, irritability, or anger when talking about peers.
These signs are not exclusive to bullying, but they are consistent markers of anxiety that deserve further attention.
Steps parents can take
If bullying is suspected, timely action is crucial. Parents can:
Start a conversation: Gently encourage your child to share feelings without fear of blame or judgment.
Work with the school: Teachers, wellbeing staff, and principals need to be part of the response. Schools in Australia follow anti-bullying guidelines and may already have programs in place.
Access support programs: Resources like You Can Sit With Me provide practical tools to encourage inclusivity and peer support.
Promote protective activities: Extracurricular groups and supportive friendships offer safe spaces where identity and self-confidence can grow.
Seek professional guidance: If anxiety is affecting daily routines, engaging with a psychologist, school counsellor, or GP can provide strategies tailored to your child.
“When parents suspect their child is being bullied, the first instinct is often to fix it immediately or confront the bully’s parents,” Sophie continues. But I always encourage parents to start by creating a safe, non-judgmental space for their child to open up. Ask open-ended questions, listen without interrupting, and validate their feelings before jumping to solutions. Then, work collaboratively with the school — not against them. Most educators genuinely want to help but need to know what’s happening. Bring specific examples, suggest concrete interventions, and follow up regularly. Also, don’t underestimate the power of helping your child build connections outside of school through sports, arts, or community groups. These activities provide alternative social circles where they can experience success, belonging, and confidence — all of which help counteract the anxiety that bullying creates.”
Preventing bullying: the role of community
Addressing bullying is not something parents or teachers can do alone. A whole-community effort is needed — from classroom programs to playground culture. Evidence-based anti-bullying initiatives that promote empathy, kindness, and inclusion lead to safer school environments and improved mental health outcomes.
Programs like You Can Sit With Me demonstrate how small, consistent actions shift school environments. When children know they can sit with others or invite peers into their group, the cycle of exclusion and isolation that feeds bullying is broken.
Why awareness matters for every child
Even if your child is not directly being bullied, teaching kindness is essential. Most children will, at some stage, witness bullying. Equipping them with the skills to stand up for others, challenge harmful behaviours respectfully, and show compassion benefits the entire school community.
In fact, research suggests that peer support is one of the most powerful protective factors — not only for victims of bullying but for every child’s psychosocial development7.
A final word for parents
Bullying is a serious concern with genuine consequences for children’s anxiety and long-term wellbeing. The good news is that with parental awareness, school collaboration, and inclusive support systems, children can recover, build resilience, and feel safe again.
Every child has the right to feel safe at school and included in their peer group. By recognising the signs, acting promptly, and engaging with anti-bullying resources, parents can play a powerful role in breaking the link between bullying and anxiety.
Together, we can create schools where kindness is the norm, anxiety is reduced, and every child feels empowered to grow, learn, and thrive.
“Breaking the connection between bullying and anxiety requires all of us — parents, teachers, students, and communities — working together with intention and compassion,” Sophie says. It means creating environments where children feel safe to be themselves, where differences are celebrated rather than targeted, and where every student knows they have a place where they belong. That’s the heart of You Can Sit With Me: ensuring no child faces bullying or anxiety alone. When we prioritize mental health alongside academic achievement, when we teach empathy alongside mathematics, and when we build communities of kindness alongside communities of learning, we give children the foundation they need not just to survive, but to truly thrive. And that’s a future worth fighting for,” she says.
References
[4] Guzmán-Holst, C. (2020). Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health.
YOU CAN SIT WITH ME is an inclusive, evidence-based, peer-led program reducing school refusal, social isolation, bullying, exclusion and non inclusive behaviour.YOU CAN SIT WITH ME provides free programs for schools, sporting clubs and community groups.
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